Jimmy Kimmel and Bill Maher had a wide-ranging, late-night comedy love-in to kick off tonight’s episode of Real Time, with the guest comparing the host to starting Super Bowl quarterback Tom Brady.
Sunday’s Super Bowl LV pits Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers against quarterback Patrick Mahomes’ defending champion Kansas City Chiefs. Maher groaned, “If I have to listen to sportscasters or anyone else on TV sucking Tom Brady’s d–k …” Hearing the hype, Maher said he has been praying, “Please, Mahomes, beat this motherf–ker!”
The host of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live conceded that even though “Brady has certainly won his share of everything,” he is nevertheless rooting for Brady on Sunday for a reason that he said is universal. “This is a guy who was told by his employer …” he said, preparing to describe Brady’s departure from the New England Patriots, before a thought occurred to him. “By the way, this reminds me a little bit of you,” he told Maher. “When you were at ABC, they said, ‘Alright, that’s it – we’re done.’ You went on to become tremendously successful here at HBO. You’re like the Tom Brady. I think you want the accolades for yourself!” In other words, he seemed to suggest, Maher is in some way jealous of Brady for possibly pulling off a revenge act that would outdo Maher’s rebound from being bounced from ABC’s Politically Incorrect.
“Everybody who’s been fired from a job goes, ‘Ugh, I’d love to see this guy leave this job,’” Kimmel reasoned. “They go in the toilet, he goes to Tampa — which is also a toilet, let’s be honest. I lived there, I know. And then he’s in the Super Bowl again and, who knows, he might win it.”
The pair covered a few other topics during the chatty segment, including Maher’s 10-year investment in the New York Mets baseball team — which Maher said reached its end during the “near-death experience of 2020.” Even though he was “constantly writing checks” during a period when the team was unable to play, he still “made out like a f–king bandit” on his original outlay.
Noting how many people seem to be wanting to leave California (a pet topic of Maher’s), the host asked Kimmel to describe a recent road trip he took to Idaho in an RV with his family. He admitted that after sweating it out in a hot tent — “Did you know tents don’t have air conditoning?” Kimmel asked. “Tents?!” Maher replied — the family packed up and drove to Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. “They have parking for RVs there!” Kimmel added. “Of course they do,” Maher said, after admitting he pines for his tour dates in Vegas lost to Covid-19.
Speaking of the pandemic, the two also compared notes on having to perform to an audience consisting only of their own writing staffs due to health and safety restrictions. Kimmel joked that his writers are sick of listening to him. “We should switch staffs!” he proposed. “It will be like swinging,” he explained, “but for talk shows.”